london calling

As far back as I can remember, I have always known I should live in England. Like Legolas to the sea*, so too I feel that upon visiting the Fair Isle, I would never return. I want the storied history of this once world dominating empire to be outside my door. I want to see castles. I want to roam alone on heather clad hills. I want to see the place that has inspired so many of my most cherished children’s literature like Narnia, Hobbits** and Harry Potter***. I want to live in a sweet cottage on the outskirts of a small but vibrant city by the sea. I will ride my mint green cruiser bike with its large wicker basket in front into town to pick up my groceries. I will have a garden of veggies and flowers. I will have a madcap assortment of tea pots and china even though I don’t drink tea. I will instead use them for coffee and juicy juice. I will drink my milk from champagne flutes. Every once a week or so, I will go to my local pub, The Blustery Pig Dog and catch up with all my friends and neighbors. There, I will receive compliments on my vast jumper collection and they charming old men who look like Santa will say they still don’t know how I make shoes, even though I have explained it several times to them. We will all decorate for Christmas and have paper crowns and party poppers. As I get old, I will grow fat from shepherds pie, scones with fruit and cream, and Yorkshire pudding. I will marry a charming British boy, quite possibly because I just love to hear him speak. He will win every argument. I will take a train to Paris often. I will address letters as such Mathilde Broningwig of Hobblenobton, England and the letter will get there. I will visit if not life in Hobblenobton****. I will relish the city while I work there. I will holiday in the Lake District. I will find fairies in the Lake District. I will wait for when my adventures like Legolas’ will bring me to my land across the sea.

*Nerdin’ it up
**Obvs.
***I will run at full speed at the barrier between platforms 9 and 10 at Kings Cross Station.
****I don’t know if there is an actual Hobblenobton, I hope so.